Thursday, June 4, 2009

scarred for life

v. scarred
1. To mark with a scar.
2. To leave lasting signs of damage on

those who know me irl probably heard of my story. or what i went through about a year and a half ago. i've been in and out of the emergency room five times within two months. i've been in four hospitals within two months. i've had two major surgeries during those two months. everyday i see this 12-inch scar. i've been in deathbed. i still have flashbacks everytime i go for a doctor's visit. was i scared? yes and no. I was scared of the pain, it was horrendously painful. i remember whispering to my mom and brother, "it hurts, i feel like i'm gonna die." i was scared how painful it was. but then i wasn't scared of dying. let His will be done.

i am thankful everyday for the second chance of life He gave me. He has a plan for me, though i don't know it yet or maybe i'm just too stubborn to grasp it.

i am grateful for my family. though we have our moments, i will never trade them for nothing. when shit goes down, family will be the only people who'll be by your side, best believe that. friends come and go. 'nuff said.

life is full of beauty. notice it.

yo shorty is courageous
going through the stages
of where her body is more mature
than her age is
far from the daddy little girl type
can't even imagine what her world's like - jadakiss

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